Authenticity vs. Technique

 Do you know Harry Max? If you don’t, I recommend you find an excuse to meet him – fascinating guy who I now get to call my friend (i.e., I’m pretty sure he would come get me out of jail at 3 a.m., which as I’ve said in an earlier post is my definition of a friend (https://listeningtoit.com/2012/04/26/the-crush-of-constant-connection/.) One day I was visiting with Harry and he mentioned the idea that, when it comes to talking with people, it’s always preferable to approach them with authenticity vs. technique.

I get to interact with people a lot and there are occasions just about every day where I am not quite sure what to say. I prepare ahead of time, that’s my DNA. That said, when it comes to communicating with someone I care about, I often don’t quite know what to say.

Enter authenticity vs technique. When I quit worrying about doing it right and instead try my honest best to show up, say what I need to say in as straightforward and caring a way as possible, all will be ok.  I still prepare, I still worry, and then I let go – I trust that if I am as authentically Sara as I can be, and say what needs saying, all will be ok.

This works with my husband (whom I adore), with my business partners, with employees, with friends. It just works. I ask myself the question, “what needs saying here?” and let it flow from there.

Let’s consider the words for a minute.

Authentic means of undisputed origin or authorship.

Wow, what a definition. Being authentic, by that definition, is a monumental challenge in our mass consumer mindset that tells us to be homogeneous, be just like someone else. Wear, think, do just like someone else. Which is, by definition, un-authentic.

Technique means technical skill and the ability to apply procedures or methods so as to effect a desired result.

Wow, what a definition. Sounds a bit inhuman to me.

I know which I would rather be on the receiving end of.

Try letting your words be of undisputed YOUR-NAME-HERE origin.

Be you. Say that.

Give it a shot and let me know how it goes.