The Crush of Constant Connection
Recently I was asked to comment on this article about how our addiction to “staying connected” through technology is robbing us of our ability to truly connect with others. It’s worth a read.
I was asked whether I agreed with any of the negatives the author mentions related to constant connectedness and also whether I understand. Yes, I strongly agree with a number of the negatives mentioned. But as CEO and Founder of a high-tech start up, I also understand.
I believe it is axiomatic that what we give others (e.g., judgment, acceptance, harsh words, patience) is what we give ourselves (times ten). So the problem with hiding from others behind devices is that we are really hiding from ourselves. The problem with that as I see it is three-fold:
- Each human being has something to offer the world that the world has never seen before. If we don’t take the time to embrace stillness and solitude and the discomfort it brings, then the risk is we will never discover what we have to offer and we will never reach our potential on this planet. Constant connection necessarily prevents this.
- If all I can give you is a quick text or message, then it’s very likely I am never giving myself more than a few seconds of undivided attention. And a few seconds will never be enough time for me to get to know myself. And if I don’t know myself, I don’t really know what matters to me — and I’m vulnerable to the rampant, fleeting influence of digital connections.
- Empathy and deep thought are slow neural processes; the multitasking of texting while eating/tv’ing/sleeping/getting married are by definition fast and shallow ones. Empathy is required to embrace others. Deep thought is required to figure out who you are and what you care about. While I might be “living” with the illusion of connectedness, I am in fact destitute when it comes to true human relationship.
My definition of a friend is someone who will come get me out of jail at 3 a.m. in the morning. A high bar, I realize, but really, shouldn’t we have a standard for ourselves? The concept of friends being a quantity game to me is nonsense (but then I’m in the process of reducing my LinkedIn connections…).
Finally, I can’t help but wonder whether all of this connecting is related to our addiction to multi-tasking, which is very related to our inability to be alone. Being alone is not a problem to be solved; I think of it as a threshold to cross into uncharted territory and adventure. Here’s a test for you: Go right now and sit quietly in a room with no device or distraction of any kind (including a watch) for 10 minutes. Just you and your breath. I bet you can’t do it — unless you have been practicing. What does that say?
As to the question – do I understand our addiction to being “connected” through devices?
Yes, I understand. I am trying my car as a device-free zone and failing. I can’t believe how seductive my phone is when it sits there on the passenger seat, seeming to call to me to pick it up, put my fingers on it, connect. I observe myself in this pattern and laugh, cry and am stunned. All.
Also, I try doing email only three times a day, but that little Outlook icon saying I have a new email sucks me in like a monkey to a shiny object (who is the lower primate in this story?). At least I can observe these in myself. Perhaps that is a step toward freedom.
listening to it 
Very great post. I simply stumbled upon your weblog and wished to mention that I’ve truly loved surfing around your weblog posts.
After all I’ll be subscribing on your feed and I
hope you write again soon!
Hi there, I check your blog like every week.
Your story-telling style is awesome, keep doing what you’re doing!
I am actually thankful to the owner of this site who has shared this wonderful paragraph
at at this time.
Only wanna tell that this is very useful , Thanks for taking your time to write this. febkgcdbcdef
whoah this blog is fantastic i really like studying your posts.
Keep up the great work! You understand, many people are searching round for this info, you can help them greatly.
Hi there, after reading this remarkable article i am as
well glad to share my experience here with friends.
It’s amazing to pay a quick visit this web site and reading the views of all mates concerning this paragraph, while I am also
zealous of getting experience.
Hi there to every single one, it’s really a fastidious for me to pay a visit this web page, it includes helpful Information.
This site was… how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I’ve
found something which helped me. Kudos!
This is a topic that is near to my heart… Best wishes!
Where are your contact details though?
Sweet blog! I found it while browsing on Yahoo News. Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!
Cheers
Hello there, You’ve done a fantastic job. I will definitely digg it
and personally suggest to my friends. I’m confident they’ll
be benefited from this site.
Wow, marvelous blog structure! How lengthy have you
been running a blog for? you made blogging glance easy. The whole glance of your web site is excellent, as smartly as the content!
Thankfulness to my father who stated to me concerning this blog, this
webpage is truly amazing.
I go to see every day a few blogs and information sites to read
content, but this web site offers quality based articles.
hi!,I really like your writing very much! proportion we be in contact more
about your post on AOL? I need a specialist in this area
to resolve my problem. May be that is you! Looking ahead to see you.
Great web site. Plenty of useful information here. I’m sending it to some friends ans
additionally shasring in delicious. And naturally, thank you for your sweat!